When Eric and I were discussing how this adoption would change our family dynamic (or would it change it at all), I spoke with each of our children individually. I wanted them to know that their feelings were being considered and valued in the process, even though Mommy and Daddy would make the decision. I wanted to share these in case anyone is wondering how adoption affects children (or at least how it affected our children 8 months into our first adoption).
Emmi (13) “Does this mean I get to go to Africa now?” As the oldest, she has experienced new responsibility of 3 siblings looking up to her. She has done an awesome job adjusting but I wasn’t sure how she would feel about another sibling. She was literally jumping up and down squealing as we were sharing about their little sister.
Jake (7) “So can I go to Africa too? Awww…Mommy she is so cute. I can’t wait to be her big brother”. Jake is very close to Agyeiwaa and a tender big brother. No doubt he will be so with little “A” as well. Later, he told me “Mommy, I hope more families adopt, this is so fun”
Kofi (7) “So we get a new little sister? Mommy, does she have food? She has no family? Mommy, we have to go get her now”. This boy’s heart is so big, and he knows the realities of being orphaned. He will be her protector, I can tell.
Agyeiwaa (4) “Mommy, can my little sister sleep in my room? I am going to teach her”. She has blossomed in our family and continues to overcome her fears and obstacles. Now that she knows she will have a sister close in age, she is making all kinds of plans for them.
Our adjustment as a family of 6 has had its challenges. We have not been perfect, our children are not perfect. But at the core of it all, is love. Unconditional love. And because of that, they know that another child isn’t going to change that.